The past two months have been financially challenging. I had to hire a lawyer because my insurance company is not thrilled with the fact that I have gone off my drug trial treatments. Because my co-pays would fluctuate wildly from $800.00 -$1600.00 a month. I entered into a medical-bankruptcy contract with them that allowed me to pay the bargain basement price of $889 a month for the treatments.
These treatments saved my life. I am very aware that I am one of the lucky few people who has been blessed to have a job that provided insurance, and a insurance company that provided real medical services and benefits to me that kept me alive. However, like most high powered drug trials I eventually became toxic on the drugs. I stopped the weekly shot treatments that were nearly $2000 a shot right before my trip to England in April 2014.
At the end of January this year, I was notified by my insurance company that because I had entered into this contract I was still required to pay for the medication regardless if I used it or not. They informed me that according to their records I owed them over $11,000.00 in back payments, and co-pays. The woman at member services then smiled sweetly asked will that be check or charge?
Yea right.
After walking out of that meeting the urge to stop for burger and fries was almost overwhelming. I suddenly felt that I wasn't safe and all I wanted to do was fill my body with carbs so that I could pass out. It was divine intervention that allowed me to get home without bags of fast food by my side.
Once I made it past that first day, I felt this inner strength I have never felt before. I felt that I could approach this challenge with a clear mind. Because my mind was clear I was able to see the situation for what it was and not connect it to shame or guilt on my part. I stopped catastrophizing and instead claimed the result I wanted.
Instead of bingeing and checking out, I was able to manage the anxiety by being conscious of my anxiety and my breath. Breathing my anxiety out and stating my intentions and affirmations helped me release that panic.
I realized the only time that burger and fries looked tempting was when I was hungry. So I got a bigger purse and started carrying around my favorite plant based foods. I would make large amounts of roasted sweet potato fries so I could have some for lunch or just as a snack. The starch helped me feel full which translated into me feeling safe.
I heard from my lawyer today. The judge did not agree with the insurance company's "interpretation of the contract" So I don't owe $11,000.00! I got off scott free with a bill of $1700.00 for lawyers fees and mediation costs.
I know that this will not be the last stressful situation that tests my commitment to my own self care. However this experience has taught me that I do not have to succumb to food, my anxiety, or outside pressures. I realize now that this negative experience taught me a life changing positive one. For that alone it was worth every penny.
No comments:
Post a Comment